FEEDBACK THOUGHTS

Photo Credits: Aaron Osborne

Halfway through my second reading, Overcoming the Fear of Feedback, I texted one of my roommates because I was inspired by one of the ideas in the article. It said that if you ask someone what they thought of the situation and to give them a chance to explain what they think went wrong before giving your own feedback. Our third roommate doesn’t often realize when something is in need of cleaning. So, we feel as though she should be pitching in more to keep our house clean. Letting the person explain their side first makes it seem as though it is less of an attack and more of a coming to an agreement. This was the perfect timing for me to read this article.

In the middle of reading, Presence, Not Praise: How To Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Achievement, I texted my mom a picture of one of the quotes about praising children for the outcome and not the effort. My parents are firm believers in not pushing us to get a certain grade. “As long as you tried your best” is what my mom would say. My town, from the outside, is a perfect little suburb with perfect parents and perfect kids. Or so it would seem. It would be extremely interesting to see the results of a study on the children and parents from my town. To give you an idea, many of the parents saw their child’s accomplishments as their own, bragging to other parents about how great their child is. It is sickening, really, to think about the pressure these parents put on their children for their own gains.

These articles should be mandatory for all teachers, especially those who teach in elementary schools. When the article, Be a Mirror, talked about reading and the different approaches of feedback, it took me back to when I was in elementary school. I am dyslexic and although I don’t remember exactly what my teachers told me, I am almost positive it wasn’t a reflection of my effort. I feel horrible for the kids who are going through the school system now. The stress of standardized testing and the emphasis on grades instead of learning, are either pushing kids towards narcissism or perpetual low self-esteem.