First off, I love the layout of your blog. I think it is a great modern layout for your blog and blog topic! Great introduction, I’m not sure if this was a stylistic choice, but I think it would add more depth if we had a name to the historian (unless, you just want him to be known as the historian!). This background would help us identify with the person, because as much as he wants to picture the authors of the past in the stories he finds, we want to do the same as well. I like the idea that your storybook will be a living monument to stories from the past! On thing that might be interesting is if after each new story you include you do something similar to an authors note, but written by the Historian. I think this will keep him active in the story, which is great because he seems like a really unique and interesting character! Great job and I can’t wait to read more!
Hi Annie! Your blog layout and presentation was very clean and simple, which I loved. It gave off a very great first impression and I knew the writing was going to be high quality because the website looked high quality. I think your topic is very interesting and like nothing I have read yet. Even if I don't have to, I will definitely check back to read your upcoming stories. I agree with the comment above about giving some description of the historian. I think it would help round out the big picture of the introduction and give a better scene setter. I did really enjoy the pictures being large and dividing up the content. They were great pictures and did help set the scene. Overall, I was really hooked to your storybook from the beginning and I think it is going to be awesome! Hi Annie! Your blog layout and presentation was very clean and simple, which I loved. It gave off a very great first impression and I knew the writing was going to be high quality because the website looked high quality. I think your topic is very interesting and like nothing I have read yet. Even if I don't have to, I will definitely check back to read your upcoming stories. I agree with the comment above about giving some description of the historian. I think it would help round out the big picture of the introduction and give a better scene setter. I did really enjoy the pictures being large and dividing up the content. They were great pictures and did help set the scene. Overall, I was really hooked to your storybook from the beginning and I think it is going to be awesome! Best of luck with your storybook.
I do not know how you did it, but you made being a historian interesting... and I hate anything that has to do with history. I really love the short proverb on your title pages too.
I love the tribute to forgotten people and side characters. I think your introduction would so much better if you gave us an idea of what stories you are planning on sampling from. Will they be stories from different Greek and Roman epics, or will you take from something else? It would be cool if you could twist the stories you will write to where the actual hero of the story was the side character, but the main character stole the glory.
There were a few spelling and grammar errors that I saw, so just go through your Introduction one more time and fix those. I am also not sure if this was intentional, but you spelt "supporting" wrong on the website banner.
Your storybook introduction is very well done and I cannot wait to read more of your entries. As a historian myself, I felt your main character or narrator was very relatable and interesting. I genuinely could not wait to go on a historical journey with him.
I do wonder who the people in history he is going to explore are and where they came from. What era is he planning to tell me about and who are the characters he will involve in his retellings? If is retellings are not fictions to his life, is he a mystical creature? Just wondering since this is a mythology course.
I honestly cannot wait to read the rest of your stories. History is something I love and I think the fact that you took what many consider a boring profession and made it so unique and interesting is really great. Perhaps just expound a bit on more on where you plan to take the reader through history.
Annie, the front page of your storybook is very compelling because of the both the quote and the black-and-white picture. I had no idea what the story was going to be about until I started reading it. I can immediately tell that this isn't the first story that you have written because your writing is fluid and smooth. The particular vocabulary that you use also sound very good for this type of story. The story is written like a diary because of the first-person perspective and the expression of the author's thoughts. I really like this about your writing! Your introduction to your stories makes me want to read them now! I also enjoy reading about the author's interest in the stories of past lives. I can't think of any feedback that would make your story more enjoyable to read because it already flows so well.
I like how your storybook reflects the layout of your blog—clean and simple. I also love your writing style. You're really good at carrying your reader along by making use of simple sentences and complex ideas. I love that juxtaposition. I was a little confused about who exactly Elijah was at first, but I think everything flowed well and it made me really excited to start reading your stories.
Megara was a great first addition to the storybook. I loved getting to see a very different side of the character I know from the Disney Hercules. I think you did an excellent job of giving her more depth from the limited sources you had to begin with. I also really liked that it read like a diary. I think this could be a cool format to do your whole storybook in. But I also think that it could inhibit you from making as much use of descriptive elements and dialog, which you use so well.
This was a great read, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!
Your story about Megara was really good. I'd actually never read the version of the story where she flees and marries Hercules' brother. I only ever knew of the one where she died, and I read a lot of mythology. Maybe this version is not as common? Regardless though, it gave you extra room to talk about what happened. I thought it might have been building to an ultra dramatic ending where all of this was her last thoughts before she died. As it was though, the diary format suited it really well. It's like a bittersweet recollection. On the one hand, she's alive and remarried, on the other, her children are gone. As a suggestion, if you're looking to expand your story, you could spend a little more time on the night where she found her children. If you added in a little more descriptive language it would keep the reader more engaged I think. As it is, we get that she's sad but we loose just a bit of the tangibility of the feelings of losing children. I think it might only require another two sentences maybe? But it would top off our experience of her grief really well.
Hi Annie! First of all, the layout for your storybook looks amazing. It really captures people's attention and brings an awesome environment to your page. So I have never read the original story here before, but it was really, really good. I liked the diary format you gave it, because it was somewhat easier to follow. Most of my stories have always been in first person or something simple, but after seeing all of the diary themed posts, I think I am going to try and give it a shot. Just a suggestion- but you could try using more descriptive words and see if it could help the flow of your stories. I really liked it though, so it doesn't need to change drastically. Overall, this was a great read and I can't wait to see where these stories end up!
Annie, great job on your first story! I've read stories about Achilles or Hercules at least a hundred times, but this is the first where they play a lesser role in the life of an everyday person, and I think that's a great idea! I know it must be hard to write because you have little to go off of, however, on the other side of that same coin the possibilities for what you could do with each character are practically endless! Nobody ever thinks about how the epic battles and things the legendary characters do affect the lesser people not given any time. If I could suggest something, you might write from the perspective of someone on the opposing side of a great warrior who decimated an entire city. Your storybook has an interesting place where instead of celebrating the victor, it can give life to the people whose lives are thrown into utter chaos because of them. Great job so far! I'll be back to read the rest as they're done!
Annie, Your introduction is so well written. I can definitely get a sense for who you are as a person, and as a writer. I love the theme for your project. I can't wait to read your stories!
Your site looks amazing! Your story, Megara, was very nice and detailed. I love that Meg is happy in the beginning, and I can tell that she really does love Hercules, which makes his actions that more appauling. The ending is so sad- stories with dark endings are so much more real sometimes, and I definitely think that you achieved this.
Your second story, Andromeda, was also set in a dark tone, and went well with the first story. I feel like you are very knowledgeable about literature, and you do a wonderful job making it your own! Great job! Emily
While reading your introduction, it felt positive and informational. I really felt that I would learn something from a historian.
I read Andromeda. I remember reading one of your weekly stories, and like that one, this story was great. Your similes like “as easily as one cuts butter for bread” allowed me see how the stranger cut off the chains and how easy it was for him to do so. Your use of adjectives really helped me imagine what occurred as well.
I felt Andromeda’s feelings in the beginning. The way you slipped in the reason as to why she was there on the cliff and information regarding her parents was good. It gave me enough information to understand how she got there.
Reading your author’s note gave me some closure about what happened in the end, although it would be nice to know the result of the battle within the story.
The part where Andromeda was “clutching him closer in fear for [her] own life and pushing him away in fear for his” was a bit confusing to me, but I liked that part. I might be the only one who was confused. From what I believe, it was either she physically did those actions or just thought of it.
Hi Annie! I'm so happy to be back to read your storybook. I just love your layout, so I already enjoy the stories that you write. The story about Megara definitely gave the vibe of Megara speaking in hindsight. It was suspenseful because I knew something was going to happen, I just did not know what it was. So you did a great job getting that feeling of regret and sadness across before actually telling the reader what happened. It was a very unique story involving Hercules, because he was not this triumphant character but instead he was a villain. What makes him more evil is not even hearing from him. There is no dialogue or insight to what he is thinking or his rationale is for killing his children. This leaves the reader just as confused as Megara is and also sad about the situation. All in all, I greatly enjoyed it. Best of luck with the rest of your storybook!
I probably squeaked when I saw what your story was about. I love that you're doing lesser known characters cause I love this particular character. I named my dog Andromeda. As for the story itself, I really love how you treated this one. You didn't try to squeeze overmuch info into the story but kinda of left it open ended like a cliffhanger. The dialogue was great and the description was excellent and I really like the added touch of the video with the waves. Listening to that while reading really transports you to the scene so I think it brought your story to life more. I hope you can try to do something similar with your next stories. Only thing I want to say, the line "'I will set you free and you may answer then.' he grunted." sounds just a little bit off by saying "he grunted." I'm not quite sure why he's grunting here since he's not yet unchaining her and isn't under physical stress or anything. It just gave me a weird mental picture of him grunting words randomly. Super small quibble there though. Overall I loved the story.
Annie, I immediately felt some Indiana Jones vibes when I read that the main character is a historian and it runs in the family. That got me very excited for a good story, and you did not disappoint. The introduction is very well done and creative, and it really sets the tone for the rest of the storybook. You write with great detail, and you make me feel what the characters feel. I was very convinced that the story of Megara was going to be a happy one, but I was in for a surprise. You did a great job of setting a happy mood in the beginning. Then you delicately foreshadowed the morbid ending wonderfully. When Megara felt like something was off, I got scary movie feelings like, "oh no, something terrible is about to happen." Given that you did not have a lot of raw material to work with, I think you did an excellent job with creating this story and filling in the details. You are a talented writer, and I look forward to reading more of your work! Thorpe
I really like how you decided to make your storybook a gateway and a voice for those who perished without their stories being known by the masses. I have always been extremely interested in Greek mythology ever since I watched Hercules as a kid. I did study the more accurate (and in turn much more lewd) versions of the Greek mythology tales as I got older. I like that you did your background research before diving in and telling the story. It is interesting that you took two different tellings of the same story and combined the best parts of them into your story. You inspire me to do more research into the background of my characters in my storytelling efforts. I loved how you staged your introduction as a historical researcher who is just fascinated in the obscure history of some less commonly known characters. The stories were somewhat morbid as was the introduction but I see this as a sign a mature story telling, which I greatly respect. I will make an effort to comeback to your storybook later and read more of what you have added.
Hi Annie! I think your storybook is one of my favorites so far. The layout is great and unique, the pictures are awesome, and your writing is great as well! You really have good writing and it it very well done. Also, the theme of your storybook is really cool too. It slightly reminds me of my own, which is the retelling of stories from the villains' perspective, except yours is from the side of the supporting roles instead of the main character. How cool! I love that I get to see what happened with these characters. Your first story is great, and the picture is so ominous. Giving such a dark side to the Hercules story is very cool and creative. I don't see any places that need improvement and it seems like it's in great shape so far. I'm looking forward to reading more from this storybook and seeing what changes you make!
Hi Annie. I'm going to first agree with everyone else here and say that your layout is fantastic. The visual elements you are using are perfectly being portrayed. I love when I see stories from a different character's perspective, so you using villains as the character's perspective is very interesting. You have done a wonderful job making each story your own and kind of flipping the script on them. Your Hercules story being so dark really made me interested and your use of description is very good. Keep up the good work.
Hi Annie! Your introduction is fantastic! I loved how you put it in first person and I am so impressed with your Storybook concept. I was really interested to read your stories. I was familiar with Megara because of the Disney Movie, Hercules, so I was curious to see how you were going to write a story about her. First off, I like how you made this story first person as well. I always feel like writing stories in first person makes the stories more interesting for the audience to read. Overall, I think you did an excellent job using conversation and quotations throughout your Storybook. Some people struggle incorporating it, but you did is seamlessly. Also – the images that you used throughout your Storybook are really captivating and have a very similar vibe/style in a good way. I think your Storybook is going in a great direction – keep up the great work!
My first thought after reading your story was, "Wow..." I have not read the story that you based this off but I think you did a great job portraying your story. I think it is devastating and wrong that the lady gets blamed for everything and nothing happens to the man. What would happen to Lancelot if the story was to take a turn and Arthur did decide he needed to be punished? I don't think that a lady should be the only one on trial but I know in the original times of King Arthur they were. I think you did a great job on writing this story! I think it is awesome that you took the different versions of this story that you had heard and turned it into a story of your own. You did a great job and I can't wait to read more of your stories of the Shadow People.
Wow! Your story about Megara took me with a blow. The contrasting imageries of a caring husband and a heartless murder are very captivating. Thank you for sharing this story. I did not know Hercules had a mortal wife. I only know that when Hercules became god he married Phoebe, daughter of Hera and Zeus. The myth stated that he did not treat her well. When I read your story, it stroked me that could it be because of Megara’s tragedy that led Hercules to mistreat Hera’s daughter. You did great job in developed the tone and details. In your story about Guinevere, it is very short, but it was very powerful. I can see the hopelessness and anger through the story. The last scene where Guinevere was taken out by the guarded made me cry. It was very sad scene, but I can feel the relief in Guinevere. I think you did very well in choosing your topic about these female characters that were overshadowed by other myths, but they all had a great story about them. Love your stories!
Your story is fascinating! After reading your introduction earlier this semester, I knew I would want to read your complete story. I was not disappointed this week when I read your first three entries. Your blog set up is perfect for the stories and really enjoyed your use of pictures. It fits very nicely with your tales. I really enjoy that you chose to focus on characters who were not main features in their original portrayals. Your writing flows and it so easy to read. Your dialouge is intriguing and adds a lot of depth to your story. I find myself wishing your stories were longer and had more to tell. They are excellent. I have very little feedback in the way of criticism. They are all beautifully written. Perhaps just another read through to make sure you have really shorn up all grammar mistakes. I really look forward to reading your complete story book in a couple weeks. Very well done.
Megara: Okay, this is incredible. Megara's story absolutely took my breath away. I was captivated the entire story, and I could really feel the emotion all the way throughout. I'm really impressed how well you write suspense. A lot of the time, I find that suspenseful writing falls flat but that really was not the case here. My heart is broken for Megara!
Andromeda: Wow, my heart is double broken for Andromeda. I really liked how you easily moved from Megara's story to Andromeda's. The transition is really seamless but holds the kind of overarching sorrow of both of these women have at the end of their stories. You have an incredible descriptive voice that really constructs the scene for us.
Guinevere: I think this story is my favorite. You took an enormously famous character and completely spun his story on its head. King Arthur is known for his courage and goodness, and we have this side story of Guinevere and Lancelot. That other story is often not well known or acknowledged when thinking of King Arthur and his tales of bravery.
I really like the layout of your blog - it is simple yet elegant, and really allows for the reader to focus on the words in your stories with little distraction. My favorite story was Guinevere's. You took a risk writing about sexual assault I think, but you did a graceful job at conveying some of the emotions a person might feel after experiencing something so terrible. Not to mention the writing was excellent - very smooth, descriptive, and captivating. It's impressive that you brought so much out of just a couple of short scenes, as well. I also enjoyed Megara’s story. It was both exciting and heartbreaking. You did a great job at making the characters feel like people I knew or cared about. I felt almost like I was a friend that they were confiding in, which made your stories even better! Great job!
Like many others in this class, I find the layout of your website to be captivating, clean and fluid. Which, I am not shocked to find coming from an Ad student I never realized I could find such interest in a historian. I began reading thinking I was going to be bored throughout it all, but I was completely wrong! You did such an excellent job in your introduction, Megara, and Guinevere! I started with the introduction of course, and then read Megara and then Guinevere. It so fluid in the writing with detail and annotation that I just had to keep reading. I hope you have enjoyed the class and doing something outside of the Ad element. Best of luck to you in the future!
Annie, I enjoyed all of the stories that you wrote! It’s a good idea, to pull out the people that really aren’t the focus in the original stories and put them into the spotlight, and I think that you captured their experiences well. I also particularly liked your introduction. I thought that it was sad (his father is disappointed ☹ ) but I enjoyed the details about your narrator’s name and such. I was definitely intrigued, and wanted to keep reading after you talked about the thrills and mystery of reading history, and discovering those who came before. It sounded like genuine passion. As I’m sure you well know, your stories were very sad. I’m glad that Andromeda’s got to end happily (even though she’s going to have major issues with her parents)! But you definitely manipulated my emotions and made me feel the appropriate things during the course of your tale, which is good. Nice job, and good luck as you finish out the semester!
First off, I love the layout of your blog. I think it is a great modern layout for your blog and blog topic! Great introduction, I’m not sure if this was a stylistic choice, but I think it would add more depth if we had a name to the historian (unless, you just want him to be known as the historian!). This background would help us identify with the person, because as much as he wants to picture the authors of the past in the stories he finds, we want to do the same as well. I like the idea that your storybook will be a living monument to stories from the past! On thing that might be interesting is if after each new story you include you do something similar to an authors note, but written by the Historian. I think this will keep him active in the story, which is great because he seems like a really unique and interesting character! Great job and I can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Annie! Your blog layout and presentation was very clean and simple, which I loved. It gave off a very great first impression and I knew the writing was going to be high quality because the website looked high quality. I think your topic is very interesting and like nothing I have read yet. Even if I don't have to, I will definitely check back to read your upcoming stories. I agree with the comment above about giving some description of the historian. I think it would help round out the big picture of the introduction and give a better scene setter. I did really enjoy the pictures being large and dividing up the content. They were great pictures and did help set the scene. Overall, I was really hooked to your storybook from the beginning and I think it is going to be awesome! Hi Annie! Your blog layout and presentation was very clean and simple, which I loved. It gave off a very great first impression and I knew the writing was going to be high quality because the website looked high quality. I think your topic is very interesting and like nothing I have read yet. Even if I don't have to, I will definitely check back to read your upcoming stories. I agree with the comment above about giving some description of the historian. I think it would help round out the big picture of the introduction and give a better scene setter. I did really enjoy the pictures being large and dividing up the content. They were great pictures and did help set the scene. Overall, I was really hooked to your storybook from the beginning and I think it is going to be awesome! Best of luck with your storybook.
ReplyDeleteI do not know how you did it, but you made being a historian interesting... and I hate anything that has to do with history. I really love the short proverb on your title pages too.
ReplyDeleteI love the tribute to forgotten people and side characters. I think your introduction would so much better if you gave us an idea of what stories you are planning on sampling from. Will they be stories from different Greek and Roman epics, or will you take from something else? It would be cool if you could twist the stories you will write to where the actual hero of the story was the side character, but the main character stole the glory.
There were a few spelling and grammar errors that I saw, so just go through your Introduction one more time and fix those. I am also not sure if this was intentional, but you spelt "supporting" wrong on the website banner.
Your storybook introduction is very well done and I cannot wait to read more of your entries. As a historian myself, I felt your main character or narrator was very relatable and interesting. I genuinely could not wait to go on a historical journey with him.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder who the people in history he is going to explore are and where they came from. What era is he planning to tell me about and who are the characters he will involve in his retellings? If is retellings are not fictions to his life, is he a mystical creature? Just wondering since this is a mythology course.
I honestly cannot wait to read the rest of your stories. History is something I love and I think the fact that you took what many consider a boring profession and made it so unique and interesting is really great. Perhaps just expound a bit on more on where you plan to take the reader through history.
Annie, the front page of your storybook is very compelling because of the both the quote and the black-and-white picture. I had no idea what the story was going to be about until I started reading it. I can immediately tell that this isn't the first story that you have written because your writing is fluid and smooth. The particular vocabulary that you use also sound very good for this type of story. The story is written like a diary because of the first-person perspective and the expression of the author's thoughts. I really like this about your writing! Your introduction to your stories makes me want to read them now! I also enjoy reading about the author's interest in the stories of past lives. I can't think of any feedback that would make your story more enjoyable to read because it already flows so well.
ReplyDeleteHey Annie,
ReplyDeleteI like how your storybook reflects the layout of your blog—clean and simple. I also love your writing style. You're really good at carrying your reader along by making use of simple sentences and complex ideas. I love that juxtaposition. I was a little confused about who exactly Elijah was at first, but I think everything flowed well and it made me really excited to start reading your stories.
Megara was a great first addition to the storybook. I loved getting to see a very different side of the character I know from the Disney Hercules. I think you did an excellent job of giving her more depth from the limited sources you had to begin with. I also really liked that it read like a diary. I think this could be a cool format to do your whole storybook in. But I also think that it could inhibit you from making as much use of descriptive elements and dialog, which you use so well.
This was a great read, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!
Your story about Megara was really good. I'd actually never read the version of the story where she flees and marries Hercules' brother. I only ever knew of the one where she died, and I read a lot of mythology. Maybe this version is not as common? Regardless though, it gave you extra room to talk about what happened. I thought it might have been building to an ultra dramatic ending where all of this was her last thoughts before she died. As it was though, the diary format suited it really well. It's like a bittersweet recollection. On the one hand, she's alive and remarried, on the other, her children are gone.
ReplyDeleteAs a suggestion, if you're looking to expand your story, you could spend a little more time on the night where she found her children. If you added in a little more descriptive language it would keep the reader more engaged I think. As it is, we get that she's sad but we loose just a bit of the tangibility of the feelings of losing children. I think it might only require another two sentences maybe? But it would top off our experience of her grief really well.
Hi Annie!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the layout for your storybook looks amazing. It really captures people's attention and brings an awesome environment to your page.
So I have never read the original story here before, but it was really, really good. I liked the diary format you gave it, because it was somewhat easier to follow. Most of my stories have always been in first person or something simple, but after seeing all of the diary themed posts, I think I am going to try and give it a shot.
Just a suggestion- but you could try using more descriptive words and see if it could help the flow of your stories. I really liked it though, so it doesn't need to change drastically. Overall, this was a great read and I can't wait to see where these stories end up!
Annie, great job on your first story! I've read stories about Achilles or Hercules at least a hundred times, but this is the first where they play a lesser role in the life of an everyday person, and I think that's a great idea! I know it must be hard to write because you have little to go off of, however, on the other side of that same coin the possibilities for what you could do with each character are practically endless! Nobody ever thinks about how the epic battles and things the legendary characters do affect the lesser people not given any time. If I could suggest something, you might write from the perspective of someone on the opposing side of a great warrior who decimated an entire city. Your storybook has an interesting place where instead of celebrating the victor, it can give life to the people whose lives are thrown into utter chaos because of them. Great job so far! I'll be back to read the rest as they're done!
ReplyDeleteAnnie,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is so well written. I can definitely get a sense for who you are as a person, and as a writer. I love the theme for your project. I can't wait to read your stories!
Your site looks amazing! Your story, Megara, was very nice and detailed. I love that Meg is happy in the beginning, and I can tell that she really does love Hercules, which makes his actions that more appauling. The ending is so sad- stories with dark endings are so much more real sometimes, and I definitely think that you achieved this.
Your second story, Andromeda, was also set in a dark tone, and went well with the first story. I feel like you are very knowledgeable about literature, and you do a wonderful job making it your own!
Great job!
Emily
While reading your introduction, it felt positive and informational. I really felt that I would learn something from a historian.
ReplyDeleteI read Andromeda. I remember reading one of your weekly stories, and like that one, this story was great. Your similes like “as easily as one cuts butter for bread” allowed me see how the stranger cut off the chains and how easy it was for him to do so. Your use of adjectives really helped me imagine what occurred as well.
I felt Andromeda’s feelings in the beginning. The way you slipped in the reason as to why she was there on the cliff and information regarding her parents was good. It gave me enough information to understand how she got there.
Reading your author’s note gave me some closure about what happened in the end, although it would be nice to know the result of the battle within the story.
The part where Andromeda was “clutching him closer in fear for [her] own life and pushing him away in fear for his” was a bit confusing to me, but I liked that part. I might be the only one who was confused. From what I believe, it was either she physically did those actions or just thought of it.
Hi Annie! I'm so happy to be back to read your storybook. I just love your layout, so I already enjoy the stories that you write. The story about Megara definitely gave the vibe of Megara speaking in hindsight. It was suspenseful because I knew something was going to happen, I just did not know what it was. So you did a great job getting that feeling of regret and sadness across before actually telling the reader what happened. It was a very unique story involving Hercules, because he was not this triumphant character but instead he was a villain. What makes him more evil is not even hearing from him. There is no dialogue or insight to what he is thinking or his rationale is for killing his children. This leaves the reader just as confused as Megara is and also sad about the situation. All in all, I greatly enjoyed it. Best of luck with the rest of your storybook!
ReplyDeleteI probably squeaked when I saw what your story was about. I love that you're doing lesser known characters cause I love this particular character. I named my dog Andromeda.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story itself, I really love how you treated this one. You didn't try to squeeze overmuch info into the story but kinda of left it open ended like a cliffhanger. The dialogue was great and the description was excellent and I really like the added touch of the video with the waves. Listening to that while reading really transports you to the scene so I think it brought your story to life more. I hope you can try to do something similar with your next stories.
Only thing I want to say, the line "'I will set you free and you may answer then.' he grunted." sounds just a little bit off by saying "he grunted." I'm not quite sure why he's grunting here since he's not yet unchaining her and isn't under physical stress or anything. It just gave me a weird mental picture of him grunting words randomly. Super small quibble there though. Overall I loved the story.
Annie,
ReplyDeleteI immediately felt some Indiana Jones vibes when I read that the main character is a historian and it runs in the family. That got me very excited for a good story, and you did not disappoint. The introduction is very well done and creative, and it really sets the tone for the rest of the storybook. You write with great detail, and you make me feel what the characters feel. I was very convinced that the story of Megara was going to be a happy one, but I was in for a surprise. You did a great job of setting a happy mood in the beginning. Then you delicately foreshadowed the morbid ending wonderfully. When Megara felt like something was off, I got scary movie feelings like, "oh no, something terrible is about to happen." Given that you did not have a lot of raw material to work with, I think you did an excellent job with creating this story and filling in the details. You are a talented writer, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Thorpe
Annie,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you decided to make your storybook a gateway and a voice for those who perished without their stories being known by the masses. I have always been extremely interested in Greek mythology ever since I watched Hercules as a kid. I did study the more accurate (and in turn much more lewd) versions of the Greek mythology tales as I got older. I like that you did your background research before diving in and telling the story. It is interesting that you took two different tellings of the same story and combined the best parts of them into your story. You inspire me to do more research into the background of my characters in my storytelling efforts. I loved how you staged your introduction as a historical researcher who is just fascinated in the obscure history of some less commonly known characters. The stories were somewhat morbid as was the introduction but I see this as a sign a mature story telling, which I greatly respect. I will make an effort to comeback to your storybook later and read more of what you have added.
Hi Annie! I think your storybook is one of my favorites so far. The layout is great and unique, the pictures are awesome, and your writing is great as well! You really have good writing and it it very well done. Also, the theme of your storybook is really cool too. It slightly reminds me of my own, which is the retelling of stories from the villains' perspective, except yours is from the side of the supporting roles instead of the main character. How cool! I love that I get to see what happened with these characters. Your first story is great, and the picture is so ominous. Giving such a dark side to the Hercules story is very cool and creative. I don't see any places that need improvement and it seems like it's in great shape so far. I'm looking forward to reading more from this storybook and seeing what changes you make!
ReplyDeleteHi Annie. I'm going to first agree with everyone else here and say that your layout is fantastic. The visual elements you are using are perfectly being portrayed. I love when I see stories from a different character's perspective, so you using villains as the character's perspective is very interesting. You have done a wonderful job making each story your own and kind of flipping the script on them. Your Hercules story being so dark really made me interested and your use of description is very good. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi Annie! Your introduction is fantastic! I loved how you put it in first person and I am so impressed with your Storybook concept. I was really interested to read your stories. I was familiar with Megara because of the Disney Movie, Hercules, so I was curious to see how you were going to write a story about her. First off, I like how you made this story first person as well. I always feel like writing stories in first person makes the stories more interesting for the audience to read. Overall, I think you did an excellent job using conversation and quotations throughout your Storybook. Some people struggle incorporating it, but you did is seamlessly. Also – the images that you used throughout your Storybook are really captivating and have a very similar vibe/style in a good way. I think your Storybook is going in a great direction – keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteMy first thought after reading your story was, "Wow..." I have not read the story that you based this off but I think you did a great job portraying your story. I think it is devastating and wrong that the lady gets blamed for everything and nothing happens to the man. What would happen to Lancelot if the story was to take a turn and Arthur did decide he needed to be punished? I don't think that a lady should be the only one on trial but I know in the original times of King Arthur they were. I think you did a great job on writing this story! I think it is awesome that you took the different versions of this story that you had heard and turned it into a story of your own. You did a great job and I can't wait to read more of your stories of the Shadow People.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your story about Megara took me with a blow. The contrasting imageries of a caring husband and a heartless murder are very captivating. Thank you for sharing this story. I did not know Hercules had a mortal wife. I only know that when Hercules became god he married Phoebe, daughter of Hera and Zeus. The myth stated that he did not treat her well. When I read your story, it stroked me that could it be because of Megara’s tragedy that led Hercules to mistreat Hera’s daughter. You did great job in developed the tone and details. In your story about Guinevere, it is very short, but it was very powerful. I can see the hopelessness and anger through the story. The last scene where Guinevere was taken out by the guarded made me cry. It was very sad scene, but I can feel the relief in Guinevere. I think you did very well in choosing your topic about these female characters that were overshadowed by other myths, but they all had a great story about them. Love your stories!
ReplyDeleteYour story is fascinating!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your introduction earlier this semester, I knew I would want to read your complete story. I was not disappointed this week when I read your first three entries.
Your blog set up is perfect for the stories and really enjoyed your use of pictures. It fits very nicely with your tales.
I really enjoy that you chose to focus on characters who were not main features in their original portrayals.
Your writing flows and it so easy to read. Your dialouge is intriguing and adds a lot of depth to your story. I find myself wishing your stories were longer and had more to tell. They are excellent.
I have very little feedback in the way of criticism. They are all beautifully written. Perhaps just another read through to make sure you have really shorn up all grammar mistakes.
I really look forward to reading your complete story book in a couple weeks. Very well done.
Megara:
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is incredible. Megara's story absolutely took my breath away. I was captivated the entire story, and I could really feel the emotion all the way throughout. I'm really impressed how well you write suspense. A lot of the time, I find that suspenseful writing falls flat but that really was not the case here. My heart is broken for Megara!
Andromeda:
Wow, my heart is double broken for Andromeda. I really liked how you easily moved from Megara's story to Andromeda's. The transition is really seamless but holds the kind of overarching sorrow of both of these women have at the end of their stories. You have an incredible descriptive voice that really constructs the scene for us.
Guinevere:
I think this story is my favorite. You took an enormously famous character and completely spun his story on its head. King Arthur is known for his courage and goodness, and we have this side story of Guinevere and Lancelot. That other story is often not well known or acknowledged when thinking of King Arthur and his tales of bravery.
This is so well done!
I really like the layout of your blog - it is simple yet elegant, and really allows for the reader to focus on the words in your stories with little distraction. My favorite story was Guinevere's. You took a risk writing about sexual assault I think, but you did a graceful job at conveying some of the emotions a person might feel after experiencing something so terrible. Not to mention the writing was excellent - very smooth, descriptive, and captivating. It's impressive that you brought so much out of just a couple of short scenes, as well. I also enjoyed Megara’s story. It was both exciting and heartbreaking. You did a great job at making the characters feel like people I knew or cared about. I felt almost like I was a friend that they were confiding in, which made your stories even better! Great job!
ReplyDeleteLike many others in this class, I find the layout of your website to be captivating, clean and fluid. Which, I am not shocked to find coming from an Ad student
ReplyDeleteI never realized I could find such interest in a historian. I began reading thinking I was going to be bored throughout it all, but I was completely wrong!
You did such an excellent job in your introduction, Megara, and Guinevere! I started with the introduction of course, and then read Megara and then Guinevere. It so fluid in the writing with detail and annotation that I just had to keep reading. I hope you have enjoyed the class and doing something outside of the Ad element. Best of luck to you in the future!
Annie, I enjoyed all of the stories that you wrote! It’s a good idea, to pull out the people that really aren’t the focus in the original stories and put them into the spotlight, and I think that you captured their experiences well. I also particularly liked your introduction. I thought that it was sad (his father is disappointed ☹ ) but I enjoyed the details about your narrator’s name and such. I was definitely intrigued, and wanted to keep reading after you talked about the thrills and mystery of reading history, and discovering those who came before. It sounded like genuine passion.
ReplyDeleteAs I’m sure you well know, your stories were very sad. I’m glad that Andromeda’s got to end happily (even though she’s going to have major issues with her parents)! But you definitely manipulated my emotions and made me feel the appropriate things during the course of your tale, which is good. Nice job, and good luck as you finish out the semester!